what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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