so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
