First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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