I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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