smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
