she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
