Princesses don't give blow jobs
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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