is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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