Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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