we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
