Will you blow on my dice?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
