if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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