I must be too annoying 4 u.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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