I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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