I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
is wine microwaveable?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
