I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
