Umm I'm too high to move.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
