Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize