there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
