We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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