Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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