Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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