I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Less talking, more tequila
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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