I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
