he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
