This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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