Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry anttg hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

Fav 38 952 3187
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet

Fav 54 1793 4708
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

Fav 18 1659 4298
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls

Fav 14 2699 946
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

Fav 5 637 1324
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

Fav 3 2246 800
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7

Fav 4 1297 1254
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.

Fav 2 531 775
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."

Fav 1 48 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT