i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize