I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
