i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
