Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
