Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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