I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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