i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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