my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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