So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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