"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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