He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
