Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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