when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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