We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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