I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i dont even know how to be here
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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