i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
