is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
