He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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