Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
