I must be too annoying 4 u.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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