Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
