Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
