i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
