No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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