Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
