i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
