I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize