the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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