Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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