Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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