I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
