Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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