so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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