Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
