turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
