So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
