I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
