What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
