we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
