is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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