I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
