so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
