I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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