Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
