what day is it and did you see me today?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
