summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
