It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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