it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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