OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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